Great Job I really enjoyed your story. I cant say Jessica change any thing I like it the way it is. This is the type of video I would use to empower students. Way to go.
WOW! What a power story filled with so many different lessons. I like how you connected past learning to present learning with a goal for future teaching. I find the setting of your story to be the perfect illustration for your dramitic questions... a tow path... because it is the tow path where the real work is done. Even when it seems easy the tow path is a place where work is done and lessons are learned and when it's rocky and hard the determined work on, yet in all this mire and work there is beauty beyond compare. It seems perfect to me when you can see the beauty of your surroundings even when there is sweat in your eyes and pain in your body. The only thing you should recognize or hone on this story is slowing down your narration when your emotions start to take control... its not easy talking through the painful things (especially your mom) and its okay for that emotion to well-up in your voice, but its also okay to take a small pause and breathe. Thank you for the wonderful gift.
I really enjoyed the descriptive narrative. My favorite was at the one minute mark when you compared the uniqueness of experiences in life to the uniqueness of paintings; very insightful and eloquent. While I would like to hear more stories about the trip itself, I hesitate about suggesting that you actually add anymore. You recounted three situations of what happened on the trip and adding anymore would just be filler. I think wanting to hear additional stories is more about you being a good storyteller than it being necessary to your digital narrative. There aren't many recommendations I can make in terms of revising aside from some minor audio editing. You may want to consider turning the background music volume slightly lower. It wasn't necessarily distracting but there were a few moments where it was competing with your voice. I really like that you carried the bicycling metaphor throughout the entire video; not only in words but in images too. It ensured that you weaved a great narrative from beginning to end.
Everything I have read/watched of your for this course has been such a joy. You have the heart and soul of a poet. I love the carefully-crafted audio. There were a couple places where I felt like you stumbled in your reading a little, but nothing overshadows your beautiful story. thank you
Wow, this is a wonderful video!!! Your metaphor regarding the bicycle is performed very well, and you inserted a great deal of personality and memory into your video. Your use of images flows well with your message, your narration flows at a good pace, and it is an appropriate length. The only recommendations I might have (I know you have a final copy already) would be to adjust the few pauses in narration, and maybe normalize the audio level in the video. Otherwise, excellently performed.
Great Job I really enjoyed your story. I cant say Jessica change any thing I like it the way it is. This is the type of video I would use to empower students. Way to go.
ReplyDeleteWOW! What a power story filled with so many different lessons. I like how you connected past learning to present learning with a goal for future teaching. I find the setting of your story to be the perfect illustration for your dramitic questions... a tow path... because it is the tow path where the real work is done. Even when it seems easy the tow path is a place where work is done and lessons are learned and when it's rocky and hard the determined work on, yet in all this mire and work there is beauty beyond compare. It seems perfect to me when you can see the beauty of your surroundings even when there is sweat in your eyes and pain in your body.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing you should recognize or hone on this story is slowing down your narration when your emotions start to take control... its not easy talking through the painful things (especially your mom) and its okay for that emotion to well-up in your voice, but its also okay to take a small pause and breathe. Thank you for the wonderful gift.
I really enjoyed the descriptive narrative. My favorite was at the one minute mark when you compared the uniqueness of experiences in life to the uniqueness of paintings; very insightful and eloquent.
ReplyDeleteWhile I would like to hear more stories about the trip itself, I hesitate about suggesting that you actually add anymore. You recounted three situations of what happened on the trip and adding anymore would just be filler. I think wanting to hear additional stories is more about you being a good storyteller than it being necessary to your digital narrative.
There aren't many recommendations I can make in terms of revising aside from some minor audio editing. You may want to consider turning the background music volume slightly lower. It wasn't necessarily distracting but there were a few moments where it was competing with your voice.
I really like that you carried the bicycling metaphor throughout the entire video; not only in words but in images too. It ensured that you weaved a great narrative from beginning to end.
Everything I have read/watched of your for this course has been such a joy. You have the heart and soul of a poet. I love the carefully-crafted audio. There were a couple places where I felt like you stumbled in your reading a little, but nothing overshadows your beautiful story. thank you
ReplyDeleteWow, this is a wonderful video!!! Your metaphor regarding the bicycle is performed very well, and you inserted a great deal of personality and memory into your video. Your use of images flows well with your message, your narration flows at a good pace, and it is an appropriate length. The only recommendations I might have (I know you have a final copy already) would be to adjust the few pauses in narration, and maybe normalize the audio level in the video. Otherwise, excellently performed.
ReplyDelete